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Pokern
 
An Arrowsmith record we can dance to
by Melvin Durai, 2005-06-06


Other columns by Melvin Durai

If you're a sports fan, you've probably marveled at a variety of accomplishments, such as Phil Jackson's nine NBA titles, Tiger Woods' nine major championships, and David Beckham's nine stunning tattoos.

But if you really want to be impressed, check out what Percy and Florence Arrowsmith have accomplished: 80 years of marriage.

That's a tremendous feat, especially when most Hollywood marriages crumble before the ink has dried on the prenuptial agreement. As one actor said, "Eighty years of marriage! Wow! I'd be happy with 80 days of marriage."

As reported by the Associated Press, the Arrowsmiths, of Hereford, England, tied the knot on June 1, 1925. It was such a long time ago that their wedding picture was etched on the wall of a cave. Florence wore lambskin; Percy a fig leaf. He also had a bow, though he left his arrows at home.

Percy, now 105, and Florence, 100, have set two Guinness World Records: Longest marriage for a living couple and oldest aggregate age for a married couple. As one athlete said, "That's amazing. Two world records and they've never even touched steroids."

I can't even imagine being married 80 years. I got married in my mid-30s, somewhat late in life, so I'd be happy to enjoy 40 years of marital bliss, preferably with the same woman.

According to the AP article, the Arrowsmiths say the key to a long marriage is to never take an argument to bed. They always kiss and hold hands before falling asleep. I've heard many old couples say this, but it's hard to put into practice, at least for me. I've often wanted to hold my wife's hand after an argument, but our bed and couch are too far apart. Perhaps I need a nine-foot pole.

I've been married only five years, but I've already learned some keys to a lasting marriage:

  • Have a poor memory: This may seem like a bad thing, especially if you can't remember your wedding anniversary or where you put the darn Viagra. But it's also a major benefit, the sole reason many marriages survive. When people ask me if I ever fight with my wife, I can honestly say, "I don't remember the last time we screamed at each other." Unfortunately, my three-year-old daughter has a sharp memory: "It was this morning, Daddy, during breakfast. Don't you remember? You complained about the eggs and Mom said, 'If you don't shut up, you're not getting any tonight.' And I asked why you'd want eggs at night."

  • Say you're sorry: No matter who's at fault, you shouldn't hesitate to say you're sorry. Take, for example, an Indian couple named Raj and Rani. Whenever Raj makes a mistake, Rani says she's sorry.

    Raj: "Whoops. Looks like I forgot to pay our electric bill again. We just got a shut-off notice."

    Rani: "Oh, Raj! I'm really sorry you're so careless. And I'm also sorry I married you."

  • Try to grow together: This is perhaps the best piece of advice I've received. My wife and I have grown so much together. I'm especially proud of the peas and tomatoes.

  • Show your love in various ways: I show my love by making tea so my wife doesn't have to, by doing the dishes so my wife doesn't have to, and by keeping up with the latest football news so my wife doesn't have to.


    Melvin Durai is a U.S.-based, India-born writer and humorist whose weekly humor columns entertain thousands of people in more than 90 countries.

    Other columns by Melvin Durai

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