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Pokern
 
Questions that probe your heart
by Melvin Durai, 2005-05-26


Other columns by Melvin Durai

I've been looking through an interesting book called "The Book of Questions," in which Dr. Gregory Stock poses more than 400 questions that help you explore your values, morals and beliefs. Some are fairly simple questions that you already know the answers to, such as "Do you ever spit or pick your nose in public?" Others are questions that really test your values, such as "Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by twenty years to become Oprah's dog?"

I changed the last question slightly, but I haven't changed any of the following. I'm just going to answer them:

Question: If you were at a friend's house for Thanksgiving dinner and you found a dead cockroach in your salad, what would you do?

Answer: I'd do the only ethical and moral thing: pick up the cockroach discreetly and toss it onto my friend's plate. That way, I won't embarrass my friend and I'd also be doing what all religions teach us to do: share.

Q: If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

A: Yes, I would give up exercise, eat more junk food and smoke five packs a day. I might even cheat on my wife, knowing that I won't die for another year.

Q: What do you most strive for in your life: accomplishment, security, love, power, excitement, knowledge or something else?

A: I used to strive for many things, but now that I have two young children, I strive for only two things: peace and quiet.

Q: If you had to spend the next two years inside a small but fully provisioned Antarctic shelter with one other person, whom would you like to have with you?

A: Halle Berry, of course. I would have picked my wife, but I don't want to be selfish: Who would take care of our children?

Q: If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone?

A: I would regret not having told my wife and children that I truly love and appreciate my car and they'd better not touch it.

Q: For $20,000 would you go for three months without washing, brushing your teeth or using deodorant?

A: Yes, I would. But how much are you going to pay the neighbors?

Q: Would you be willing to give up sex for one year if you knew it would give you a much deeper sense of peace than you have now?

A: No, but I'd be willing to give up peace for a year.

Q: Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be?

A: That's easy: my Indian passport. If there's anything worse than watching your house on fire, it's spending a day at the Indian embassy. A friend of mine walked in with a full head of hair and walked out with a bald spot. I really felt bad for her.

Q: If you could use a voodoo doll to hurt anyone you chose, would you?

A: I can't think of any particular person I'd want to hurt. But I'd definitely take the doll with me the next time I go to the embassy.


Melvin Durai is a U.S.-based, India-born writer and humorist whose weekly humor columns entertain thousands of people in more than 90 countries.

Other columns by Melvin Durai

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