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I was a child in Zambia when the Chinese leader Mao Tse-tung died and I cried for an entire week. That's how long they cancelled all the TV shows. When it came to making people feel sad, the government sure knew how to do it. They even played gloomy music on TV and radio, and made me fear that they'd soon come around to confiscate all my toys. Death really shouldn't be so unpleasant. Perhaps more countries should learn from India. When a top leader dies, the government tries to comfort children in the best way possible: They cancel school. If you see a bunch of kids at the amusement park on a school day, try not to disturb them. They're probably in mourning. Hey, you grieve in your way, let them grieve in theirs. If children can be so distraught over the death of a prominent politician, imagine their despair at losing someone they've actually heard of. It's important for teachers to keep that in mind. If Bobby just lost a relative, you can lessen his suffering instantly by giving him the day off school. But if you really want him to feel better, why not give him a few extra points on the final exam? I've had an exam postponed because of a relative's death, but my teachers never gave me extra points, so hardhearted were they. British teachers seem to be more caring. As reported by the French Press Agency (AFP), students taking a GSCE or A-level exam in England can be awarded a maximum of five extra percent if they recently lost a parent or close family member, four percent for a more distant relative. Four percent may not seem like a lot, but it could lighten a student's misery, especially the misery of a 'D.' Johnny: "I'm so lucky. My uncle died and left me his stamp collection." Bobby: "That's nothing. My uncle died and left me a 'C.'" When it comes to these pre-college exams, timing has never been more important. Mother: "Bobby, I heard you visited Uncle Wilbur in the hospital and he's taken a turn for the worse. What did you say to him?" Bobby: "I just told him that if he's going to die, I'd really appreciate it if he didn't wait too long. My exam is this Friday." A relative's death can hurt your preparation for an exam, but so can the loss of a pet. That's why the official exam guidelines, as composed by England's Joint Council for Qualification, allow you to get two extra percent if your pet dies on exam day, one point if it dies the day before. Now you know why Rover, the old and sickly mutt, is suddenly the most popular dog at the animal shelter. If he doesn't pass the test, at least you will. Of course, there are easier ways to get those points. Teacher: "Johnny, you say that Humphrey died on the morning of the exam. Who's Humphrey?" Johnny: "Uh ... Humphrey is my goldfish. He died by accident. Yes, I accidentally flushed him down the toilet." Some students will settle for two points, others will try hard for five. Mother: "My son is a genius. He's going to do well on his A-level exams." Friend: "Really? How can you be so sure?" Mother: "Well, just look at the brilliant names he picked for his pets. He calls his dog 'Uncle Wilbur' and his cat 'Aunt Judy.'"
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Extra points for a timely loss