A strike all parents should like
by Melvin Durai, 2004-12-17


Other columns by Melvin Durai

Yes, after their two children -- Benjamin, 17, and Kit, 12 -- refused to do any household chores, the Barnards grabbed a few of their belongings and moved all the way to the front driveway. They set up a tent there and erected signs that said, "Parents on Strike" and "Seeking Cooperation and Respect!"

They immediately received support from many passers-by, though some teen-agers wondered if they had gone utterly crazy, expecting to receive BOTH cooperation and respect. But as all striking workers know, it's wise to start with high demands. You can always compromise later. The Barnards may eventually settle for cooperation on Saturdays and respect on Christmas Day.

As you can imagine, many parents are commending the Barnards for their novel tactic. "Putting up signs is an excellent idea," one man said, "because before their children can give them cooperation, they ought to know how to spell it."

The Barnards, according to an Associated Press article, are not just sleeping outside, they're withholding their parental services. They won't cook, clean or drive their children anywhere, until Benjamin and Kit start taking out the garbage and doing the dishes and laundry, which have been piling up lately. In the meantime, the only thing their neighbors can do is shake their heads and hold their noses.

"We've tried reverse psychology, upside down psychology, spiral psychology and nothing has motivated them for any length of time," Cat Barnard, 45, told the AP. At least the reverse psychology finally got Benjamin to do something about the laundry: reverse his underwear.

The Barnards also tried smiley-face charts and withholding their children's allowances, but Benjamin and Kit didn't get the message. The last straw came when Benjamin didn't assist his mother with some lawn work, though she was recovering from oral surgery.

Mom: "Benjamin! My mouth still hurts and the lawn needs to be mowed. Why don't you ever listen?"

Benjamin: "I am listening, Mom -- to the latest Usher CD. That's why I can't help you. What's Dad doing anyway?"

Mom: "He's at work. Perhaps you've heard of the word 'work.'"

Benjamin: "Aw Mom, please get off my case. I'll look it up in the dictionary later. But if it's something that grownups do, then it's just not cool. Besides, my teachers give me lots of homework, so aren't you supposed to give me schoolwork?"

While I admire the Barnards for taking a stand, I should point out that the idea of a strike isn't new to parenthood. As one man said, "Whenever my son refuses to obey me, I think of striking, too. Striking him right on his backside." Such parental strikes were once so common that children rushed to clean their rooms or do the dishes. Their fathers just had to ask them once: "Kids, do you know where I left my belt?"

These days, of course, striking children is frowned upon in some quarters. For instance, I don't like it when my wife spanks my daughter during the fourth quarter of a football game. But spanking can be rather effective, as we've found. Our older daughter is only two, so going on strike isn't yet an option for us. Besides, it's freezing outside!

Melvin Durai is a U.S.-based, India-born writer and humorist whose weekly humor columns entertain thousands of people in more than 90 countries.

Other columns by Melvin Durai

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