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Voting for the gifts of democracyby Melvin Durai, 2004-10-14 http://MelvinDurai.com Other columns by Melvin Durai In a perfect world, everyone would want to vote in the upcoming election, everyone would want to exercise a right that many Americans have fought and died for, everyone would want to decide the future of Iraq. But poor voter participation seems inevitable -- and not just in the Iraqi election. Even in America, where democracy has existed for decades, only about half of eligible voters will enter a polling booth during the presidential election. And some of them will immediately leave, saying, "Sorry, I thought that was the restroom." A few of the rest will occupy the booth for several minutes, then walk out and say, "Excuse me, I pushed all the buttons and pulled the lever. When do I find out if I've won something?" Other voters, even some outside Florida, will accidentally cast their ballots for the wrong candidate. In the 2000 election, for example, more than a handful went to the polls intending to vote for Al Gore, but got confused and ended up voting for Gore Vidal. Vidal would have finished in third place, but unfortunately some of his supporters got confused and ended up voting for Vidal Sassoon. Yes, democracy can be a vicious cycle. And if you think it's bad in America, imagine what it'll be like in the Middle East: "Excuse me, but I forgot which Ahmed I was supposed to vote for." When you consider all the failed attempts at casting a vote, you begin to realize the importance of getting more people to vote, especially people who are somewhat stable. But sadly, many Americans don't realize they live in a democracy, while others seem uninspired by the presidential race, though the two major political parties have given them a clear choice, once again, between one rich white guy and another rich white guy. But there's still some hope, as filmmaker Michael Moore has shown. He has convinced hundreds of college students to vote, simply by offering them gifts of underwear. That's all it takes, apparently, to get young people excited about democracy. The presidential candidates have spent hours talking about foreign policy, but it's hard to care about a free Afghanistan and a free Iraq, when all you need is free underwear. But not everyone needs underwear. Folks in West Virginia are managing just fine, thank you. That's why we need to offer a variety of gifts, so we can attract as many voters as possible. Most men would vote to get free tools and free beer, while women would vote for free chocolate and free backrubs from Denzel Washington. We also need to change the language we use to recruit voters. A poster that says "Exercise your right to vote" won't work in America, because most people go out of their way to avoid anything that involves exercise. We need to emphasize that voting doesn't require much effort. "Enjoy your right to vote" might work, but it probably won't be as effective as "Enjoy your right to a free pair of underwear." With the right incentives, we might get some real surprises at the voting booths. Election official: "Mrs. Johnson, I'm truly impressed. You're 80 years old, have arthritis in your arms and boils on your feet, yet you still came out to vote. You must really care who goes to Washington." Mrs. Johnson: "Of course I care who goes to Washington. That's why I'm voting -- so I can get one of his backrubs."
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