"By ten I was so wasted I had been officially downgraded to a lower rung
 on the evolutionary ladder. Some guy in a suit came up, listened to my
 attempts to string words together, revoked my rights as Homo Sapiens
 on the spot and reclassified me as some kind of plant life. I had to
 fill in all kinds of forms and shit. It was very embarrassing."

-- Michael Marshall Smith, "Spares"