Modern parents believe toilet training should be an easy and casual affair. Just let the child s*%# all over everything. This prepares him or her for a brilliant career as a talk show host. It used to be thought that children should act like "little adults". Like many things that used to be thought, this is true. In fact, now more than ever. Today's real adults are self-involved, impulsive, inarticulate, and spend as much time as possible out playing. They can't sit still, don't like to get dressed up, and hate every kind of activity that requires self-restraint. Adults are the children of today, and therefore children have to be adults because there's only so much room in the world for kids. --P.J. O'Rouke