this.document.write('Application to Live in Kentucky


Name:__________________________ Nickname:_________________________________
CB Handle Model:_____________________ Color:______________
Address (RFD No.):_________________--_____________________________________
Daddy (If unknown, list 3 suspects):______________________________________
Mamma:_________________________
Neck Shade: _____Light Red _____Medium Red _____Dark Red
Number of teeth exposed in full grin: Upper_____ Lower_____
Name of Pickup owned:_______________ Height of Truck__________
Truck equipped with:
____Gun Rack ____4-Wheel Drive ____Confederate Flag ____8-Track Cassettes ____Load of Wood ____Hijacker Shocks ____Radar Detector ____Mag Wheels ____Dual CB Antennas ____Spittoon ____Camper Top ____Air Horns ____Mud Flaps ____Toothpick Holder ____Mud-Grip Tires ____Raccoon Hide ____Big Dog ____Hunting Rifle
Number of empty beer cans on floorboard or in bed of pickup truck:_____
BUMPER STICKERS:
____Eat more Possum ____My other car is a piece of shit too ____Honk if you love Jesus ____If you ain\'t a cowboy you aint shit ____Redman Chewing Tobacco ____Wave if you\'re horny ____Don\'t Like My Driving? Dial 1-800-Eat-Shit ____If You Can Read This, Then You\'s Too Smart For Kentucky ____I Brake For Nuthin\' ____National Rifle Association
Define the following (must be 90% correct):

1. Grits 6. Sawmill Gravy 11. Cobbler 16. Tater 2. Goobers 7. Turnip Salad 12. Fatback 17. Pig Skins 3. Pinto Beans 8. Shit-on-a-Shingle 13. Tote 18. Okrie 4. Collards 9. Redeye Gravy 14. Chickin\'Fry 19. Shonuf 5. Sidemeat 10. Soppin\' Syrup 15. Poke 20. Chitlins
Favorite Vocalist:

____Reba McEntire ____Conway Twitty ____Loretta Lynn ____Hank Williams Jr. ____Randy Travis ____Ray Wylie Hubbard ____Tammy Wynette ____Slim Whitman ____Porter Wagoner ____Willie Nelson ____George Jones ____Box Car Willie
Favorite Recreation:

____Square Dancin\' ____Possum Huntin\' ____Skinny Dippin\'
____Craw Daddin\' ____Gospel Singin\' ____4-Wheelin\'
____Drankin\' ____Spittin\' Backy ____Bill Chip Throwin\'
____Honky Tonkin\' ____Noodlin\' ____Other
Name of Son(s): ____Bubba ____Jim Bob ____LeeRoy ____J.D.
____Bill Lee____Bob Lee ____Duke
Name of Daughter(s): ____PammySue ____Violet ____Paulette ____Daisy
Weapons Owned:

___Deer Rifle ___Sawed-Off Shotgun ___Varmit Rifle ___Log Cabin ___Tire Iron ___Power Chain Saw ___Pick Handle ___Hick\'ry Switch
Number of Dogs:____ Type: ___Blue Tick ___Beagle ___Black & Tan ___Bird Dawg
Cap Emblem: ___John Deer ___McCullock Chain Saws ___Budweiser ___Vo-Tech ___Skoal ___Coors ___NAPA ___Smile if You\'re Not Wearing Underwear ___N.R.A. ___Redman ____Kodiak
Number of Dependends: Legal:________ Claimed:_________
Number of Weeks Unemployed:__________
Number of Welfare Checks Received:____________
Memberships:

___KKK ___NRA ___Moose ___PTL Club ___AA ___Bass Club ___VFW ___Quiltin\' Bee ___American Legion ___United Sons/Daughters of the Confederacy ___John Birch Society
Length of Right leg:________ Length of Left leg:__________
Number of Testicles Shot off in \'Nam____ Number of Testicles Left____
Does your truck contain some part painted the offical state color of Primer Red? ___Yes ___No
How many cars do you have jacked up on blocks in your front yard?_______
How many kitchen appliances will you keep on your front porch?__________
Will you wear mostly double-knit polyester pants with snags?____________
Do you own any shoes? ____Yes ____No If yes, how many?__________
What year did you last purchase shoes?_________________
Are you married to any of the following:

____Sister ____Cousin ____Sow
Do you know her name?________________
Does your wife weigh more than your pickup?____________
Can you sign your name and get the spelling right every time?____________
Have you ever stayed sober for a whole weekend?________________
If so, why?______________________________________________________________
Can you count: Past 10 with your shoes on?_________________ To 21 with your fly up?_____________________
Do you know any words that have more than four letters?__________________
Have you ever had more than one bath in a week?__________________________
Medical Information:

Do you have at least two of the following:

___BO ___Crabs ___Head Lice ___Rabies ___Trench Mouth ___Runny Nose ___Bad Breath ___Chafing

IF YOUR APPLICATION IS TURNED DOWN BY THE STATE OF KENTUCKY, YOU MAY BE ELIGIBLE IN THE STATES OF TEXAS, OKLAHOMA, OR ARKANSAS. THEIR STANDARDS ARE SLIGHTLY LOWER, HOWEVER, YOU WOULD STILL BE ABLE TO VISIT KENTUCKY.');