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The Night Before Finals Twas the night before finals, And all through the college, The students were praying For last minute knowledge. Most were quite sleepy, But none touched their beds, While visions of essays danced in their heads. Out in the taverns, A few were still drinking, And hoping that liquor would loosen up their thinking. In my own apartment, I had been pacing, And dreading exams I soon would be facing. My roommate was speechless, His nose in his books, And my comments to him Drew unfriendly looks. I drained all the coffee, And brewed a new pot, No longer caring That my nerves were shot. I stared at my notes, But my thoughts were muddy, My eyes went ablur, I just couldn't study. "Some pizza might help," I said with a shiver, But each place I called Refused to deliver. I'd nearly concluded That life was too cruel, With futures depending On grades had in school. When all of a sudden, Our door opened wide, And Patron Saint Put It Off Ambled inside. His spirit was careless, His manner was mellow, He started to bellow: "What kind of student Would make such a fuss, To toss back at teachers What they tossed at us?" "On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes! On Last Year's Exams! On Wingit and Slingit, And Last Minute Crams!" His message delivered, He vanished from sight, But we heard him laughing Outside in the night. "Your teachers have pegged you, So just do your best. Happy Finals to All, And to All, a good test."
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1
Father Father, don't I have to work? No, my lucky son. We're living now on Easy Street, on dough from Washington. We've left things up to Uncle Sam, so don't get exercised. No-one has to give a damn. We've all been subsidized! But if Sam treats us all so well, and feeds us milk and honey, please, Daddy, tell me what the hell He's going to do for money? Don't worry, Bub, there's not a hitch in this-here noble plan. We merely soak the Filthy Rich and feed the Common Man. But, Daddy, won't there come a time when they'll run out of cash? And we'll have left, then, not a dime and things will go to smash?! My faith in you is shrinking, son, you nosey little brat! You do too damned much thinking, son, to be a Democrat!
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2
Mary had a little skirt With slits right up the sides And everytime she crossed her legs The boys could see her thighs Mary had another skirt With a slit right up the front She never wore that one...
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3
Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't
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4
George Michael re-releases Careless Wrister And I'm never going to wank again, Guilty nobs have have got no rythm Though its easy to pretend I'm standing on a stool. Should have known better than to wank in bogs, Stood in shit and covered in jism, So I'm never gonna wank again, The way I wanked with you oo ooh. Bog Tropicana Let me take you to a place, Where gays will come upon your face, If you want them to, And if you stand upon a bag, They'll do things that will make you gag, As you sit upon the loo, Bog Tropicana sex is free, Bums and gism, there's enough for everyone, And if you like cock just like me, You can meet them, they all want you! nice.... Young Bums (Go for it!) Hey Sucker! (Who the hell's been up your flue?) Hey Fucker! (Where's the nearest public loo?) Well I hadn't seen your arse around town, a while So I greeted you, with a knowing smile When I saw that chap upon your lap I knew he'd taken your length, bent over the taps I said: "Big boy, what's with the frown!" I said: "Big boy, you better take my cum down." And in return, I gladly heard you say, "Fuck me George, I wanna play." Young Bums Having some fun, Crazy Bikers take 'em on the run Wise Bi's realize, when they see my jiz dripping down your thighs Whip me, sting me like a bee No tears, just cheers, and beastiality One Two, on your cock I wanna chew, Death by masturbation! Hey Sucker! .....and so on, and so on....
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5
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