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The external organs of a body were fighting over who should be boss. The brain said, "I should be boss, since I control what the person thinks." The hands said, "I should be boss because I do almost everything for the person." The legs declared, "I shuld be boss since I carry the body and all the weight is on me." So they went on, each stating their qualities and uses. Then the Asshole spoke up, "I think I should be boss, because.." He had not finished when everyone else started laughing at him. "You, an asshole, be the boss? You gotta be kidding!" The asshole was very unhappy, and he closed himself up. The body soon suffered a terrible constipation, and the organs could not take it anymore. "Ok, ok, you're the boss!" they gave in. So the asshole became the boss of the body. The moral of the story: You don't need brains to be a boss, you just need to be an asshole.
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1
There were two cows in a paddock, enjoying the sun and eating some grass. The first cow said "Moo." And the second cow said "That's funny, I was just about to say that."
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2
Have you ever wondered why you wonder why? I used to wonder why, but now I don't wonder why I wonder why. I wonder why I don't wonder why anymore?
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3
Two really old guys decided they would go out and try to play a round of golf together. They get on the first tee and the first old guy says to the second, "My eyesight isn't what it used to be. Can you watch my ball for me?". The second guy says, "Sure! I see fine. Go ahead and hit." So the first old man steps up to the tee and really hits it. He turns to his buddy and says, "Did you see it?". "Sure!", says his buddy. "Where did it go?", the first guy asks. The second old man thinks for a minute and says, "I can't remember."
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4
Q: Why are brides dressed in white? A: So they match the rest of the appliances.
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5
Q: Why do cavemen drag women by the hair instead of ankles? A: So they don't fill up with rocks!!!
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6
Q: Why do women wear tampoons when they skydive? A: So they don't whistle on the way down.
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7
Q: Why don't cannibals eat clowns? A: They taste funny!!
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8
Q: What's the hardest thing about eating shaved pussy? A: Putting the diaper back on.
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9
Q: Mom! Can I lick the bowl? Please! A: Shut up and flush!
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10
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