Today's jokes [2.16.21]
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A fellow is walking into a hospital and sees two doctors down on their
hands and knees in one of the flower beds. He goes over and says,
"Can I help? Have you lost something?"
"No," says one of the doctors. "We're about to do a heart transplant on
an accountant and we're looking for a suitable stone."
What was the First Commandment?
"Adam, eat my pussy."
A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a
lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office and
said, "We need some four-by-twos."
The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"
The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck.
He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant
"All right. How long do you need them?"
The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go
After a while, the customer returned to the office and said,
"A long time. We're gonna build a house."
Here's a pretty nasty one:
Why are they having such a hard time finding a cure for AIDS?
The scientists can't get the mice to butt fuck.
When a car skidded on wet pavement and struck a telephone pole, several
bystanders ran over to help the driver. A women was the first to reach the
victim, but a man rushed in and pushed her aside. 'Step aside, lady,' he
barked. 'I've taken a course in first-aid!' The women watched for a few
minutes, then tapped him on the shoulder. 'Pardon me,' she said. 'But when
you get to the part about calling a doctor, I'm right here.'
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