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Today's jokes [1.4.21]

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What do you call a rabbit with a bent dick? 

    Fucks funny! 

1. 




A girl called the police department and reported that she had been 
assaulted. The officer who answered the phone, asked, "When did this 
happen?" She replied, "Last week." The police then asked, "Why did you 
wait until now to report it?" Well," she said. "I didn't know that I was 
assaulted until the check bounced." 

2. 




Q: What's the differenc between a blond and a mosquito?

A: A mosquito stops sucking once you whack it.

3. 




Attorney to witness: "And where was the location of the 
accident?"

Witness: "Approximately milepost 499."

Attorney: "And where is milepost 499?"

Witness: "About halfway between milepost 498 and milepost 
500."

4. 




How do you get a man to do situps?

Glue the TV remote between his ankles...

5. 



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