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Today's jokes [9.6.20]

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What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

1. 




The subway car was packed.  It was rush hour, and many people were
forced to stand.  One particularly cramped woman turned to the man
behind her and said, "Sir, if you don't stop poking me with your thing,
I'm going to the cops!"
"I don't know what you're talking about miss - that's just my pay check
in my pocket."
"Oh really" she spat."then you must have some job,
because that's the fifth raise you've had in the last half hour."



2. 




Q: How does a man show he's planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

3. 




   A coupla Aggies, Buck and Thurleen, married after graduating from
   Texas A&M, are driving from Dallas down to a motel in Austin for their
   honeymoon. Along the way, Buck reaches over and puts his hand on
   Thurleen's knee.
   
   Thurleen smiles, blushes and says, "Oh Buck, we're married now, you
   can go farther than that!"
   
   So he drove on to Laredo.


4. 




What's the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic?

A drunk doesn't have to go to those stupid meetings. 

5. 



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