Today's stories [6.19.20]

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After the birth of her new baby, my cousin brought him to my place for a visit.
While there, she decided to prepare dinner one night and the three of us went
to the grocery store to get the things she needed.  While she was shopping, I
was holding the baby and slowly meandering through the place.  A woman walked
past me, knocked my purse from my shoulder, put her hand on my arm, looked me
in the eye and said, "I'm sorry."  I said it wasn't a problem and we each went
on our way.  When I told my cousin about it she insisted that I had just been
hit by a pickpocket.  I checked and found my wallet and keys were still in my
purse.  It wasn't until at work the next day that I discovered the missing item
-- a sanitary napkin.

Sent by renae

When my husband and I were living in Memphis we ordered Duck
Breast from the local 5 star restaurant.  I like my duck
cooked rare, so I inquired, 'would that be rare duck?' The
waiter replied, 'No, it's just a regular  old duck -- local,
I think.'

I am a limo driver and this Judi once, was totally impressed
with the  bar, the interior lights, the mirrored ceiling --
everything in the stretch-limo.  Then she noticed the TV. 
There was a show  she really wanted to see that evening and
asked me in all  seriousness: 'the TV *does* get cable, right?'

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