Today's quotes [6.18.20]
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I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
Now that food has replaced sex in my life,
I can't even get into my own pants.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
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