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Today's jokes [6.9.20]

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What is the difference between a Slut and a Bitch?

A Slut sleeps with everyone, a bitch sleeps with everyone but you!

1. 




The wife of an older man is distraught because her husband's um...
little sailor can't salute anymore. She goes to her local doctor
and explains the situation and the doctor just feels plain bad for
her. The doc thinks for a little bit, turns to the woman and says,
"listen, I don't do this for everyone, but since your husband's
on his way out...Get this prescription, and put three drops in his
milk before he goes to bed." The wife is very happy and thanks the
doc profusely. 

Two weeks later, the doctor sees the woman and asks how it went.
The lady blushes, smiles and says, "well I put thirty drops in his
milk by accident, and well, we just need an antidote now to close
the coffin." 


2. 




Wife: Who was that on the phone?
Husband: Wrong number. Some guy thought this was the weather bureau.
Wife: What did he say?
Husband: He asked if the coast was clear... 

3. 




My girlfriend told me to give her 12 inches and make it
hurt!..................

So I Fucked her 3 times and then hit her with a baseball bat.



4. 




Q: What's the most active muscle in a woman?
A: The penis.

5. 



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