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Today's jokes [6.13.20]

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If Radio Shack made toasters...
The staff would sell you a toaster, but not know anything
about it. You would be able to buy all the parts to build
your own toaster.

1. 




Three college students were rapping about who they'd like to be cast off 
on a desert with. The first one opted for Cindy Crawford. The next one 
chose Pamela Anderson. The third man chose Virginia Pipeline. "Never heard 
of her." his companions protested. "Who is she?" "Why she's just the 
greatest Italian gal of all, making the headlines in the newspaper," 
replied the third man. "See, here it is on page one: FIVE DIE LAYING 
VIRGINIA PIPELINE"

2. 




What the best way to get a guy to stop smoking after sex? 

Fill his water bed with gasoline. 

3. 




Teacher asks the children to discuss what their Dad's do for a living.

Little Mary says: "My Dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad guys in jail."

Little Jack says: "My Dad is a doctor. He makes all the sick people better."

All the kids in the class had their turn except Little Johnny.

Teacher says: "Johnny, what does your Dad do ?"

Johnny says: "My Dad is dead."

"I'm sorry to hear that, but what did he do before he died ?"

"He turned blue and shat on the carpet."

4. 




This guy goes ice fishing, takes out an auger and starts drilling.
LOUD VOICE FROM ABOVE: There's no fish there.
Guy goes to another spot and drills.
LOUD VOICE FROM ABOVE: There's no fish there, either.
Guy tries a third spot.
LOUD VOICE FROM ABOVE: Nope. Not there either.
Guy, getting a little nervous: "Are you God?
LOUD VOICE FROM ABOVE: No. I'm the arena manager.

5. 



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