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Today's jokes [5.7.20]

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Q: Why did Mike Tyson learn to bite ears?

A: How else do you tell a 275 pound inmate that "no means no"?

1. 




A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were
shipwrecked on an island.  One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut
tree and yelled, "Stop making love down there!" 
"What's the matter with you?" the husband said when the sailor climbed
down. "We weren't making love."
"Sorry," said the sailor, "From up there it looked like you were."
Every morning thereafter, the sailor scaled the same tree and yelled the
same thing.  Finally the husband decided to climb the tree and see for
himself. With great difficulty, he made his way to the top.  The husband
says to himself, "By golly he's right! It DOES look like they're making
love down there!"

2. 




How can a man tell when his sperm count is elevated?
His girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.


3. 




Virus Alert



There is a very dangerous virus going around and it is propogated through
the email system.  If you get an email message with the subject: "VIRUS
ALERT!" do not open the mail message.  If you do, the virus scrambles
the second half of every text file on your system.

VERY IMPORTANT:  If you do get this virus, the first thing dlkfjaid
dfdjas nairb gfdq40wt yaj  asdfsdg  dluog av da[agj asdfajpg as
dflasidffnm asd difvu asdfa vgoiae  vdsofj we dasdf 9efm sd dag0 g adf
jdl5gkj dkllj djf hsas9kaj kuieh nx3glkj gkdls kd li8siue ghkld hks1
as dg 0vbwe  ads gwefawe ads vewerwe dsf!

4. 




My mother-in-law was bitten by a dog yesterday.

       How is she now ?
       She's fine. But, the dog died. 

5. 



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