Today's jokes [5.20.20]
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State of Arkansas
Name: ________________ (_) Billy-Bob
(last) (_) Billy-Joe
(Check appropriate box)
Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
(_) Hair Dresser
Relationship with spouse:
Number of children living in household: ___
Number that are yours: ___
Father's Name: (If not sure, leave blank)
Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)
___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks
Firearms you own and where you keep them:
Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194_
Do you have a gun rack?
(_) Yes (_) No; please explain:
Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
(_) The National Enquirer
(_) The Globe
(_) TV Guide
(_) Soap Opera Digest
(_) Rifle and Shotgun
___ Number of times you've seen a UFO
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO
How often do you bathe:
Color of teeth:
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
How far is your home from a paved road?
The American in Hong Kong was talking to his wife one evening over
supper. "Get this..." he chuckled, "That ridiculous janitor of ours
claims he's made love to every woman in the building except one."
"Hmmmmmmmmm," said his wife, assuming a thoughtful faraway type
expression, "must be that stuck-up Mrs. Stewart on the eighth floor."
Q: What do you get when a blond stands on here head?
A: A smelly burnette.
Sent by Tiffany
How do you break a blonde's nose?
Place a dildo under a glass table!
Pilot to tower . . . pilot to tower . . . I am 300 miles from land . . .
600 feet over water . . . and running out of fuel . . .
please instruct! Tower to pilot . . . tower to pilot . . .
repeat after me: "Our Father, which art in heaven . . ."
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