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Today's jokes [5.11.20]

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The pretty secretary came in late for work the third day in a row.
The boss called her into his office and said, "Now look Sharon, I
know we had a wild fling for a while, but that's over. I expect
you to conduct yourself like any other employee around here. 
The boss pressed on, " Who told you you could come and go as you
please around here ?" 
Sharon simply smiled, lit up a cigarette, and while exhaling said,
...."My lawyer."

1. 




A little boy did not go to school one day. The next day when the teacher 
asked him why, he said "Our cow was on heat, so I had to take her to the 
Bull". "How disgusting" said the teacher "I am sure your father could have 
done that" "No ma'm, he couldn't have" said the little sod "It has to be 
the Bull". 


2. 




Hiram answers the telephone, and it's an emergency room 
doctor.

The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and 
I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost 
all use of both arms and both legs, and will be on a respirator 
the rest of her life."

Hiram says, "My God. What's the good news?"

The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."

3. 




President Clinton to maid: Mam, can you do something about Hillary's room. 
She complains that it's the ugliest room in the White House. Maid: Yes, 
Mr. President--I'll remove the mirrors right away.

4. 




A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the 
den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, "When did you bag him?"
The host said proudly, "That was three years ago, when I went hunting with 
my ex-wife."
"What's he stuffed with," asked the visiting hunter.
"My ex-wife" replied the hunter.

5. 



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