Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's jokes [4.8.20]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.


I heard on the news last night that Bill Gates and his wife are expecting 
a baby in June.

I'm betting the baby will be late.



1. 




The Yuppie showered a Yuppette with gifts for over a month. He 
took her to fancy restaurants and expensive resorts. Finally, he 
proposed, "Bernie, if you will marry me, I have enough money 
to provide you with anything your little heart desires."

"Sorry John." she replied. "I'm not ready to settle down yet. 
And besides, you can't buy my love, but if the price is right, I 
might see my way clear to rent you some."

2. 




Q. What's better than roses on your piano ?
A. Two lips on your organ ...


3. 




A man sat quietly reading his morning paper one Sunday morning. Suddenly,
he is knocked almost senseless by his wife, who stands behind him holding
a frying pan in hand.
Man:  "What was that for?"
Wife: "Why do you have a piece of paper in your pocket with "Daisy" 
written on it?"
Man:  "Oh honey, don't you remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse
races? Marylou was the name of the horse I bet on."
The wife was satisfied, and appologized for bonking him.
Three days later he is again sitting reading the paper when once again
he is bonked on the head.
Man:  "What's that for this time?"
Wife: "Your horse called."

4. 




Two men are discussing the age old question: who enjoys sex more, the man 
or the woman? A woman walks by and listens in for awhile and then 
interrupts: 
"Listen you guys. You know when your ear itches and you put in your little 
finger and wiggle it around for awhile? Afterward, which feels better, 
your finger or your ear?" 

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD





By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 April '20 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
         1  2  3  4  
5  6  7  8  9  10 11 
12 13 14 15 16 17 18 
19 20 21 22 23 24 25 
26 27 28 29 30 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.