Today's jokes [4.8.20]
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I heard on the news last night that Bill Gates and his wife are expecting
a baby in June.
I'm betting the baby will be late.
The Yuppie showered a Yuppette with gifts for over a month. He
took her to fancy restaurants and expensive resorts. Finally, he
proposed, "Bernie, if you will marry me, I have enough money
to provide you with anything your little heart desires."
"Sorry John." she replied. "I'm not ready to settle down yet.
And besides, you can't buy my love, but if the price is right, I
might see my way clear to rent you some."
Q. What's better than roses on your piano ?
A. Two lips on your organ ...
A man sat quietly reading his morning paper one Sunday morning. Suddenly,
he is knocked almost senseless by his wife, who stands behind him holding
a frying pan in hand.
Man: "What was that for?"
Wife: "Why do you have a piece of paper in your pocket with "Daisy"
written on it?"
Man: "Oh honey, don't you remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse
races? Marylou was the name of the horse I bet on."
The wife was satisfied, and appologized for bonking him.
Three days later he is again sitting reading the paper when once again
he is bonked on the head.
Man: "What's that for this time?"
Wife: "Your horse called."
Two men are discussing the age old question: who enjoys sex more, the man
or the woman? A woman walks by and listens in for awhile and then
"Listen you guys. You know when your ear itches and you put in your little
finger and wiggle it around for awhile? Afterward, which feels better,
your finger or your ear?"
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