Today's jokes [4.4.20]
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So it seems that these four rabbis had a series of theological
arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth.
One day, the odd rabbi out, after the usual "3 to 1, majority
rules" statement that signified that he had lost again, decided
to appeal to a higher authority.
"Oh, God!" he cried. "I know in my heart that I am right and
they are wrong! Please give me a sign to prove it to them!"
It was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the rabbi finished his
prayer, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four. It
rumbled once and dissolved. "A sign from God! See, I'm right, I
knew it!" But the other three disagreed, pointing out that storm
clouds form on hot days.
So the rabbi prayed again: "Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to
show that I am right and they are wrong. So please, God, a
bigger sign!" This time four storm clouds appeared, rushed
toward each other to form one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning
slammed into a tree on a nearby hill.
"I told you I was right!" cried the rabbi, but his friends insisted
that nothing had happened that could not be explained by
The rabbi was getting ready to ask for a *very big* sign, but just
as he said, "Oh God...," the sky turned pitch black, the earth
shook, and a deep, booming voice intoned, "HEEEEEEEE'S
The rabbi put his hands on his hips, turned to the other three,
and said, "Well?"
"So," shrugged one of the other rabbis, "now it's 3 to 2."
What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team?
They drowned in Spring Training.
A long-haired youth was hitchhiking through the deep South.
He got a ride from a mean-looking redneck trucker. After
riding about 30 miles in silence, the youth finally said,
"Well, aren't you going to ask me?"
"Ask you what?"
replied the trucker.
"If I'm a boy or a girl," answered the youth.
"Don't matter," replied the trucker. "Gonna fuck ya anyway."
"Doctor, doctor!" shouted the woman coming into the doctors offfice. "I
think I'm turning into a man" then the doctor says, " Now hold on
little lady what makes you think that you're turning into a man?" "
Well" said the woman "I'm starting to grow hair on my chest" and then
the doctor asked, " Well then, how far down your chest is your hair
growing? " and then she replied, "All the way down to my dick".
What's the difference between hard and light?
- You can sleep with a light on.
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