Today's jokes [4.1.20]
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A man walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his
hand. A cop on the
beat sees him, and approaches, "Can I help you, sir?" "Yesssh!
my car!" the man replies. The cop asks, "Where was your car the last
time you saw it?"
"It wasssh at the end of thisssh key!" the man replies, logically, if
a bit too literally. About
this time the cop looks down to see that the man's member is being
exhibited for all the
world to see. He asks the man, "Sir, are you aware that you are
The man looks down woefully and without missing a beat, moans "OHHH
GOD . . . they
got my girlfriend too!!!"
What is the Australian for foreplay?
Brace yourself, Sheila!
And the Welsh?
Are you awake, Gwen?
If the Franklin Mint made toasters...
Every month, you would receive another lovely hand-crafted
piece of your authentic Civil War pewter toaster.
There was a married couple who were in a terrible accident. The
woman's face was burned severely. The doctor told the husband they
couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was so skinny.
The husband then donated some of his skin..... however, the only place
suitable to the doctor was from his buttocks.
The husband requested that no one be told of this, because after all
this was a very delicate matter!
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's
new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever did before! All
her friends and relatives just raved about her youthful beauty!
She was alone with her husband one day and she wanted to thank him for
what he had done. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for
everything you did for me! There is no way I could ever repay you!!!"
He replied, "Oh don't worry, Honey, I get plenty thanks enough every
time your mother comes over and kisses you on your cheek!!"
Two homosexuals were talking when one of them happened to
mention that he had gotten circumcised last week.
"Can I see it?" asked the second gay homosexual, so he promptly
dropped his pants to show off his cock.
"Oooh," squealed his friend, "You look ten years younger!"
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