Today's jokes [3.3.20]
Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
A man walks up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair smells
nice. The woman immediately goes into her supervisor's office and tells
him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit and explains why. The
supervisor is puzzled by this time and says, "What's wrong with the
coworker telling you your hair smells nice?"
The woman replies, "He's a midget."
Q: How do you get rid of a nun's hiccups?
A: Tell her she's pregnant!
A unit in sex education was about to begin, and each student had to bring
in a permission slip in order to take it. Little Johnny handed in his slip
and explained to the teacher, "My mom says I can take the course as long
as there's no homework."
This is a telephonic exchange between a hotel guest and
roomservice at a hotel in Asia. It was recorded and
published in the Far East Economic Review:
Room Service: "Morny. Ruin sorbees."
Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."
RS : "Rye. Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"
Guest: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."
RS: "Ow July den?"
RS: "Ow July den - fry, boy, pooch?"
G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled, please."
RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem - crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine"
RS: "Hokay. An San tos?"
RS: "San tos. July San tos?"
G: "I don't think so"
RS: "No? Judo one toes??"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what
'judo one toes' means."
RS: "Toes! toes!..Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish
mopping we bother?"
G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.'
Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bother?"
G: "No..just put the bother on the side."
G: "I mean butter - just put it on the side."
G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache,
crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey
sigh, and copy....rye??"
G: "Whatever you say."
G : "You're welcome"
Have a good day
Two gynecologists meet at lunch.
The first one says, "I had a patient this morning with
a clit like a dill pickle.
The second one says,"That big or that green?"
The first one says,"That Sour."
By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 30 31