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Today's jokes [3.13.20]

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At a Texas University, a Professor had been teaching his students human
reproduction. For an exam, one of the questions was: "Female humans are born
with a limited number of eggs, while males, during their lifetime, produce
millions upon millions of sperm. Why are so many sperm produced?" One
young woman's answer: "Because they won't ask for directions either."

1. 




At the Russian War College, the general is a guest lecturer and tells 
the class of officers that the session will focus on potential problems 
and the resulting strategies. 
One of the officers in the class begins by asking the first question, 
"Will we have to fight a World War Three?" 
"Yes, comrades, looks like you will," answers the general. 
"And who will be our enemy, Comrade General?" another officer asks. 
"The likelihood is that it will be China." 
The class looks alarmed, and finally one officer asks, "But Comrade 
General, we are 150 million people and they are about 1.5 billion. 
How can we possibly win?" 
"Well," replies the general, "Think about it. In modern war, it is 
not the quantity, but the quality that is the key. For example, in the 
Middle East, 5 million Jews fight against 50 million Arabs, and the Jews 
have been the winners every time." 
"But sir," asks the panicky officer, "Do we have enough jews"?

2. 




What's the difference between Bill Clinton, and the Titanic ??

It is known how many went down on the Titanic.



3. 




Two mountain bred GIs were wandering the streets of calcutta when an old 
woman walked by. "Hey, Billy Joe," one said, "I think that's Mother 
Teresa." "Your nuts." "I'm telling you."
They approached the woman and one asked, "Are you Mother Teresa?" The old 
lady eyed them scornfully. "Fuck off, you goddamn perverts," she hissed, 
striding off. "Jeez," Billy Joe said, watching her disappear into the 
crowd, "now we'll never know."

4. 




   The pro quarterback was petitioning the court to have his recent
   marriage annulled. "On what grounds ?" questioned the Judge, "This
   court does not take annulments lightly."
   
   "Non-virginity," replied the quarterback, "When I married her, I
   thought I was getting a tight end, but instead, I found that I had
   married a wide receiver."


5. 



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