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Today's jokes [3.11.20]

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Q: Why do New Zealanders have sex with sheep on the edge of mountains?
A: So they push back harder.


1. 




What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand? 

     - Quattro Sink-o 

2. 




There were 2 old-maid sisters... both virgins. It's Friday night 
and Gladys looks at Betty and says, "I'm not going to die a 
virgin... I'm going out and I'm not coming home 'til I've been 
laid!!"

Betty says, "Well, make sure you're home by 10 so I don't 
worry about you." 

10 o'clock rolls around and there's no sign of Gladys... 11 
o'clock...12 o'clock... 

Finally about 15 after 1 the front door flys open. In runs 
Gladys... straight to the bathroom.

Betty goes and knocks on the door, "Are you okay, Gladys??" 

No answer, so she opens the door and there sits Gladys with 
her panties around her ankles, legs spread, and her head stuck 
between her legs looking at herself.

"What is it, Gladys??? What's wrong?" asks Betty.

"Betty, it was 10 inches long when it went in... and 5 when it 
came out.  When I find the other half you're gonna have the 
time of your life!!!"

3. 




A woman in the labor ward of the general hospital, legs spread wide, lets 
out a loud yell and out pops a little black head.
"There was this black guy once" she said to the midwife. Then she screamed 
again and out pops a yellow body. "That must be the Chinese guy I slept 
with" she said. Then one more scream and the baby’s white legs were born, 
"Ah - that was the husbands bit" she said.
The doctor held up the multicolored baby and gave it a slap, then baby 
started crying. The woman looked at the doctor & said "Thank fuck for 
that, I thought it was going to bark !!!" 

4. 




What's black and crispy and comes on a stick?

                         Joan of Arc.

5. 



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