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Today's jokes [3.1.20]

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Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants? 

     - So people can read her lips. 


How do you tell two KKK members apart?

Ask their wife. After all, she's their mother....


   Jay: Does the Bible say that if you smoke you can't get to
   Ted: No, but the more you smoke the quicker you'll get there.


A guy approaches a prostitute on the street and asks her, "how much?" she 
replies, "$100 if I lay down and $75 if I stand up." He asks what the 
difference is, and she tells him, "it's my hairdresser's fee!"


Q: Mommy, Mommy! Why don't I have a big thing like Daddy's between my legs?
A: You will when you're older, Lucy!


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