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Today's jokes [10.3.20]

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How do you change a blonde's mind?

     Buy her another beer. 

1. 




Patient: (to cosmetic-surgeon) 'Will it hurt, doctor?
Surgeon: 'Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brown'.

2. 




A college student picked up his date at her parents home. He'd
   scraped together every cent he had to take her to a fancy restaurant.
   To his dismay, she ordered almost everything expensive on the menu.
   Appetizers, lobster, champagne. . .the works. Finally he asked her,
   "Does your Mother feed you like this at home?"
   "No," she said, "but my Mother's not looking to get laid, either."


3. 




Paddy gets a phone call from Murphy.  "Paddy," says Murphy, "I've got a 
problem."
"What's the matter?" replies Paddy
"Oi've bought a jigsaw and it's too hard.  None of the pieces fit 
together, and I can't find any edges."
"What's the picture of?" asks Paddy
"It's of a big cockerel," Murphy replies.
Paddy says, "Alroight, Murphy, Oi'll come over and have a look."
He gets to Murphy's house and Murphy opens the door.  "Oh thanks for 
coming Paddy."  He leads Paddy into the kitchen and shows him the jigsaw 
on the kitchen table.
Paddy looks at the jigsaw, then turns to Murphy and says, "For God's sake 
Murphy, put the cornflakes back in the packet."

4. 




This is so cool.
Read this sentence:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE-
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-
IC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.

Now count ALOUD the F's in that sentence. Count them ONLY ONCE: do not go 
back and count them again. See below...

ANSWER:

There are six F's in the sentence. One of average intelligence finds three 
of them. If you spotted four, you're above average. If you got five, you 
can turn your nose at most anybody. If you caught six, you are a genius.  
There is no catch.  Many people forget the "OF"'s.  The human brain tends 
to see them as V's and not F's. Pretty weird, huh?  It fools almost 
everybody.

Robert

5. 



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