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Today's jokes [9.4.19]

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A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse
   falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go
   and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to
   the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's
   Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He
   then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and
   drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
   A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow
   again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to
   the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I
   think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of
   the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And
   the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
   The moral of the story:
   If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up
   chicks.


1. 




What's the difference between "ooh" and "aah?"

    -About three inches.

2. 




What is the Definition of Agony? 

    Pamela Anderson says to you "I'll fuck you for a week non stop
    for one dollar and you have only got 95 cents! 

3. 




Two missionaries in Africa get apprehended by a tribe of very hostile 
cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, build a huge fire under 
it, and leave them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries 
starts to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary can't believe it! He 
says, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat 
us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?" 

The other missionary says, "I just peed in the soup."

4. 




What does a blonde say after sex? 

Thanks Guys. 

5. 



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