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Today's jokes [8.1.19]

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How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?

Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.

1. 




A man, being on top of a woman, says after a while: 
"Honey, your tits are too small, and your box
is too tight,"

"Get off my back, dear!" she replies

2. 




Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. The
doctor says to the first man, "What is three times three?"
"274," was his reply.

The doctor says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is
three times three?" 

"Tuesday," replies the second man.

The doctor says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's
three times three?" 

"Nine," says the third man. "That's great!" says the doctor. "How did
you get that?"

"Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."

3. 




   A student engineer in the office got engaged some time ago. At her
   wedding, I was reminding her of the first day she wore her ring. None
   of the other women in the office even noticed.
   
   Finally, in sheer and total exasperation, she said "Boy !!! It's so
   warm in here today, I think I'll take off my ring."


4. 




SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.

5. 



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