Today's poems [7.7.19]
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All those Monica limericks are lame,
But I guess we have Clinton to blame.
Had he fucked just his wife,
For once in his life,
Or at least missed the dress when he came.
There was a young lady whose thighs,
When spread showed a slit of such size,
And so deep and so wide,
You could play cards inside---
Much to her bridegroom's surprise.
There was a young girl named Anheuser
Who said that no man could surprise her.
But Pabst took a chance,
Found Schlitz in her pants,
And now she is sadder Budweiser.
When a woman in strapless attire
Found her breasts working higher and higher,
A guest, with great feeling,
Exclaimed, "How appealing!
Do you mind if I piss in the fire?"
Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood:
In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life
Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
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