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Today's jokes [7.2.19]

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Q. What's worse than finding a worm in the apple you're eating?

A. Finding half a worm.

1. 




Is this really your third marriage? 

     Sure is. 

What happened to your first two wives? 

     They died.

How did your first wife die? 

     She ate some poisonous mushrooms.

What about your second wife? 

     She died from a severe skull fracture.

How did she get a skull fracture? 

     She wouldn't eat the mushrooms.

2. 




A young peasant girl of fourteen went to work in a broom 
factory.  After 2 months she gave the boss a two-week notice. 
The boss was quite unhappy to let her go since she was hard 
working, knew her tasks etc.  He called her into his office, "But 
why?" he asked.

"Nothin, I just wanna quit that's all,"  she said sullenly.

"Look, I'll give you a raise."

"No," she said

"You can't just quit like that. There must be a reason. Tell me."

"Okay if you must know..." said the girl, and she took off her
underwear and pointed to her pubic hair, "Look I haven't had 
this before, it's the broom's bristles, I tell you..."

Tickled by her innocence, he too took off his underwear and 
showed his, and said, "Ha ha...my dear it's nature. Look I have 
it too...." 

"Oh no!" the girl cried, "I can't wait two weeks, I quit now! Not 
only do you have the bristles, but you've grown the handle as 
well."

3. 




PCMCIA     People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN       It Still Does Nothing
APPLE      Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
SCSI       System Can't See It
DOS        Defunct Operating System
BASIC      Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM        I Blame Microsoft
DEC        Do Expect Cuts
CD-ROM     Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2       Obsolete Soon, Too.
WWW        World Wide Wait
MACINTOSH  Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

4. 




    A young Indian boy came back to the reservation for a
   family visit after his first year at college. When his dad asked him
   about his first year at school, he said: I'm having trouble with
   people making fun of me, especially my Indian name. How did you come
   to give your children such odd names"? His father said: "When your
   brother was born, I looked out the teepee and I saw an eagle flying so
   I named him Little Eagle and when your sister was born, I looked out
   the teepee and saw a deer grazing, so I named her spotted fawn. Why do
   you ask, Two Dogs F*cking"?


5. 



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