Today's jokes [7.17.19]
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What's sicker than sick?
masturbating with your grandma's ashes under your foreskin....
A young Jewish couple had only recently set up housekeeping when an
unfortunate incident occurred.
Early one morning, the wife, drowsy from bed, went to the toilet
for the morning's relief, and neglected to notice that the seat was up.
When she sat, she kept going!
She was just the right size and shape so that she became jammed
into the toilet past her waist with her legs sticking straight up in
front of her.
She cried for her husband, who rushed in, and for the next hour tried
desperately to extricate her.
In this process they removed her sleeping gown, but this only left her
naked and still stuck, with a particular part of her anatomy prominently
visible between her splayed legs.
Finally, the couple resolved to call a plumber,
despite the embarrassing nature of their problem.
When the plumber arrived, the young man let him in, but as they were
walking to the bathroom, the young man realized that his wife was
exposed in a very compromising and humiliating way.
Thinking fast, he ran ahead of the plumber and placed the first thing he
could think of, his yarmulke skull cap, over his wife's exposed
The plumber walked into the bathroom, took one long look, and commented:
"Well, I think I can save your wife, buddy, but the Rabbi's a goner."
Q: How do you make a hormone?
A: Don't pay her.
Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant?
A: When he realises he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an
if at first you dont succeed...
buy her another drink
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