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Today's jokes [6.1.19]

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How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

1. 




What do you do with a dog with no legs?

Take it for a drag.

2. 




How are men like UFOs?

You don't know where they come from, what their mission is,
or what time they're going to take off.

3. 




A worried patient went to his psychiatrist.
"I'm in love with my horse," he said.
"But that's nothing," replied the shrink. "A lot of people love animals. 
For instance, my wife and I have a dog that we love very much."
"Ah, but doctor," the patient replied. "It's a sexual attraction that I 
feel toward my horse."
"Ahhh!" exclaimed the doc. "What kind of a horse is it? Male or female?"
"Female, of course," said the bloke. "What do you think I am, a faggot!"


4. 




How do you know when your girlfriend is on anabolic steroids?

When she flips you over, holds you down and fucks you
.up the arse with her clitoris.


5. 



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