Today's jokes [4.1.19]
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I'm not so sure evolution is indeed a valid theory. I mean, think
about it -- if it were, wouldn't all blondes have grown handles
An Avon lady was along in an elevator when she suddenly had
to fart. She promptly reached into her bag and sprayed the air
with her deodorizer.
Two floors later a gentleman got onto the elevator.
He began to sniff.
The Avon lady asked, "Do you smell something?"
"Why, yes, I do," he replied.
"What does it smell like?"
"Hmmm, I'm not sure, but it kind of smells like someone shit
in a pine tree."
On a cross-country bus trip, Mrs. Davis became extremely queasy due
to motion sickness.She make her way to the restroom,only to find it
locked.She went back to her seat, laid her head back and tried to
fight off the nausea. Unsuccessfully, she rolled her head to the right
and threw up on the lap of a man who was dozing and who was therefore
unaware of what had happened.
When the fellow awoke, he was shocked to find himself covered in vomit.
Turning to him, Mrs.Davis said, "There now, are you feeling better?"!
The Italian colonel had his brigade arrayed in full parade dress, proudly
ready for inspection by the general. That worthy warrior strolled back and
forth before the troops, and sniffed and stopped abruptly. "Colonel!" he
spat out. "Yes, general!" the colonel quavered. "Your troops, your
troops," stormed the general. "They look very nice, they stand very nice,
but they stink, man, they stink! Can't you get them to change their
He strode away furiously. The colonel sniffed for himself. "The general,
yes, he's right. Now, Luigi change with Guiseppi, Carlo change with
Q: Who are Sven War, Ollie Famine, Piter Pestilence, and Jergi Death?
A: The four Norseman of the Apocolypse.
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