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Today's jokes [3.15.19]

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A man of Polish ancestry walked up to the counter and asked for a Polish
Meatball Sandwich. The man at the counter said, "What a Pollack."
The Polish man said, "I resent that. If a Jew came to your counter and
asked for a kosher salami on rye, would you call him a stupid Jew."
"Probably, " replied the clerk.
"And if an Italian came in here and asked for spaghetti and meatballs,
would you also insult him?"
"Probably," the clerk again replied.
"Why you're nothing but a bigot. Why do you have to insult everybody not
like you?"
At this, the clerk replied, "Because this is a HARDWARE store, moron."

1. 




What do you call four sheep tied to a post in Cardiff (Wales)?
 A leisure centre. 

2. 




Tombstone Epitaph in Memory of an accident in a 
Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:

Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.



3. 




Monica Lewinsky's tell-all book about her affair with the U.S. President
has, for one Winnipeg Chapters outlet, not sold all that well after its
first day on the shelves, as reported by CBC Radio News.

To draw attention to the book, or to perhaps add some perspective, the
Lewinksy book had three other titles surrounding it on its display:

"Divorce for Dummies"
"100 Ways to Leave Your Lover"
"How to Remove Stains"



4. 




   I know a husband and wife who have separate bedrooms, drive different
   cars, take separate vacations, work different shifts, have their own
   computers, and even have their own ISPs, separate e-mail addresses and
   Home Pages. They say they're doing everything they can to keep their
   marriage together.


5. 



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