Today's jokes [3.11.19]
Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
Man in a pub, "If you went camping and woke up in the morning with a
bloody condom hanging out of your arse, would you tell anyone?"
Other man, "Bloody hell, no!"
First man, "Want to come camping?"
Q: Whats the difference between Monica and a Soda machine?
A: They both have, "incert Bill"!
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it. He says, "Hey Dad! What are
you doin?" His father says, "I'm filling your mother's tank." Johnny says,
"Oh, yeah? Well, you should get a model that gets better mileage. The
milkman filled her this morning."
a quadruple amputee is waiting at the bus stop.The bus pulls up.Driver says
"alright John, how you getting on today?"
A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she
decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and
told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow
morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree
next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A
The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home
to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and
sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The
Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said,
"How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30 31