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Today's jokes [3.1.19]

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotchman sitting on a beach 
notice a mermaid sitting on a rock.  The Englishman 
approaches her and says 'Have you ever been kissed?' No 
says the Mermaid. He kisses her and she likes it. after a 
while the Scotchman approaches her and says 'Have you ever 
been fondled?'. She says no and he fondles her, much to her 
delight.  After onother while the irishman approaces her 
and asks 'Have you ever been fucked?.  she says no. 'Well 
you are fucked now because the tide's gone out.

1. 




How are women like elevators? 

     Only about half go down. 

2. 




What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a pig? 

    Nothing, there's some things even a pig won't do! 

3. 




If men had PMS, what would happen?

a) The federal government would allocate funds to study it.
b) Cramps would become an acceptable reason to apply for permanent 
disability.
c) There would be a federal holiday every 28 days.
d) All of the above.

4. 




Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?

When it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.

5. 



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