Today's stories [2.5.19]
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I was on a Reno Air flight from San Jose to Las Vegas and the
plane was taxiing to take off. The flight attendant came on the
intercom and said, "For those of you currently reading our in-
flight magazine, please place it back in the seat pocket in front
of you, as it is for IN-FLIGHT only." Later on, once we were
airborne, he came back and said, "If you're sitting on the right
side of the plane, look out the window and you will see big,
white, fluffy clouds. If you're on the left side of the plane, you'll
see ... big, white, fluffy clouds. Directly beneath you is...your
Once we landed, he told us to remain seated with our seatbelts
fastened until we were fully stopped at the gate. Just as we
were about to reach the gate, he said, "Don't even think about
it!" He also said, "We have a man onboard who is celebrating
his 100th birthday and this is his first flight! It is also probably
his last flight." ('Boo's' from the passengers.) "So please, when
you walk by the cockpit , wish the pilot a happy birthday."
Tech Support: "All right...now double-click
on the File Manager icon."
Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows-because
of the icons.-I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe
Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir.
I don't believe it was meant to-"
Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'.
I don't believe in icons."
Tech Support: "Well...why don't you click on the 'little
picture' of a file cabinet...is 'little picture' OK?"
Actual Police Accounts
The woman in question, a cute blonde as it happens, was pulled over for
speeding by a California Highway Patrol motorcycle officer. When he walked
up to her window and opened his ticket book she said: "I bet you're going
to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen's Ball." He replied, "No,
highway patrolmen don't have balls."
There followed a moment of silence while she smiled and he realized what
he'd said. He then closed his book, got back on his motorcycle and left.
She was laughing too hard to start her car for several minutes.
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