Today's poems [2.8.19]

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There was an old man of Madrid 
            Who went to an auction to bid. 
                In the first lot they sold 
                Was an ancient commode--- 
            And, my God, when they lifted the lid! 

               There was a young man of Manhasset 
               Whose life seemed excessively placid. 
                    One day, just for fun, 
                    He raped an old nun, 
               And filled up her crevice with acid. 

On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia:

She always said her feet were killing her
but nobody believed her.

I hate you, you hate me,
We're a disfunctional family.
Then a shot rang out and Barney hit the floor,
No more fucking dinosaur.

There was a young genius in Texas 
Who could flex his own solar plexus. 
It made his ding bounce, 
And he caught every ounce 
Of his magical spraying of sexus.

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