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Today's jokes [2.8.19]

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   The husband, tired of a listless sex life came right out and asked his
   wife during a recent love-making session, "How come you never tell me
   when you have an orgasm ?"
   
   She looked him rite in the eye and said, "You're never home !"


1. 




Why don't lawyers play hide-and-seek?

Nobody will look for them.



2. 




This young lady, a flighty young thing, got a job cleaning the bank windows
in the evening after the bank closed for business. Anyway, she was up this
ladder, cleaning good and proper and as she was in the habit of wearing no
knickers, every young man who would come along would stop and stare for a
second or two. But this evening an old geezer came along and stayed
looking.
"What are you looking at" she said.
"I'm looking at the moon" he said.
"Well, if you were here last night, you would have seen a man in it" she
said. 

3. 




Two prisoners were having a chat.
The first one said. "I've go two tickets for the warden's ball, Do you 
want to buy one?"
"No thanks, mate," said the second guy. "I can't dance."
"It's not a dance, mate," said the first prisoner. "It's a raffle!"

4. 




A man walked into the bar and there was a gorilla
sitting on a barstool.

The man asked the bartender what the gorilla was
doing in the bar so the bartender showed him. He
took out a bat and hit the gorilla over the head
with it. The animal instantly dropped down and
gave the bartender blow job.

The Bartender then asked the man if he would like
to try it.

The man said "Sure, but please don't hit me quite
so hard". 

5. 



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