Today's jokes [2.4.19]
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A guy walks into a store and says to the managaer "why doesn't your store
have a name", the store manager says "I haven't thought of one yet but I
think u can help me, what's your girlfriend's name." The guy says "Jenny"
then the store owner says "What's do you like most about Jenny" and the guy
says "her legs." So the store manager says "ok that's what we'll call my
store Jenny's Legs. Here's a coupon come back tomorrow morning and you can
have a free drink." And the man says "ok."
The next day the man comes back to the store banging on the window yelling
" where's my free drink, where's my free drink!" Then a police officer comes
up to him and says "What are you doing?" and the guy says "I'm waiting for
Jenny's Legs to open up."
An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are very much in
love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never
achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they
decide to ask the rabbi.
The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the
"Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have
the young man wave a towel over you. That will help the wife fantasize and
should bring on an orgasm."
They go home and follow the rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome young man
and he waves a towel over them as they make love. But it doesn't help and
she is still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go back to the rabbi.
"Okay", says the rabbi, "let's try it reversed. Have the young man make
love to your wife and you wave the towel over them."
Once again, they follow the rabbi's advice. The young man gets into bed
with the wife and the husband waves the towel. The young man gets to work
with great enthusiasm and the wife soon has an enormous, room-shaking
The husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to him triumphantly,
"You see, THAT'S the way to wave a towel!"
The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement
park. They went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. The
ride completed, she seemed rather bored.
"What would you like to do next?" he asked.
"I wanna be weighed," she said. So the young man
took her over to the weight guesser.
"One-twelve," said the man at the scale, and he was
Next they rode the roller coaster. After that, he
bought her some popcorn and cotton candy, then he asked
what else she would like to do.
"I wanna be weighed," she said.
I really latched onto a square one tonight, thought
the young man, and using the excuse he had developed a
headache, he took the girl home.
The girl's mother was surprised to see her home so
early, and asked, "What's wrong, dear, didn't you have a
nice time tonight?"
"Wousy," said the girl.
A husky foreigner, looking for sex, accepted a prostitute's terms.
When she undressed, he noticed that she had no pubic hair.
The man shouted, "What, no wool? In my country all women have wool
The prostitute snapped back, "What do you want to do, knit or fuck?"
A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after
staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar,
walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began
She jumped up and slapped him silly.
He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought
you were my wife. You look exactly like her."
"Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she
"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."
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