Today's jokes [2.11.19]
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Name:______________________________ SOCIAL SECURITY
STAFF ELEMENT:_____________________ HOME PHONE
MALE:___________ FEMALE:___________ OFFICE PHONE
SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Male - Female
Female - Female
Male - Male
All of the Above
None of the Above - Please Specify:
I CONSENT TO THE FOLLOWING FORMS OF SEXUAL HARRASSMENT:
Salutatory Greeting: _____________________
Eye-to-Eye Contact: ______________________
Eye-to-Bust Contatct: ____________________
Eye-to-Below Waist Contact: ______________
Heavy breathing on neck: _________________
Hands on body: ___________________________
Gluteus Maximus: ________________
Penetration (however slight): ____________
All of the Above: ________________________
MISCELLANEOUS: I WILL I WILL NOT
1. Assist in procurement of various potions, lotions, products,
etc. to be used during sexual harassment.
2. Assist in procurement and maintenance of various types of substaining
3. Clean up.
I CERTIFY THAT I WILL ACCEPT SEXUAL HARASSMENT FROM:
Anyone But: ______________________________
SIGNATURE: _______________________________________ DATE:
This form is to be reviewed by immediate supervisor annually, prior to
performance rating and evaluation.
Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years. "So, how's life been
for you?" Ed asked.
"Not too good," Ted replied. "My first wife died of cancer, my second wife
turned out to be a lesbian and ran off with another woman and took all our
savings, my son's in prison for trying to kill me, my daughter got run
over by a bus, my house was hit by a low-flying aircraft, my vintage car
rolled off the dockside into the sea, I had to have my dog put down
recently, my doctor says that I have an incurable disease and to cap it
all my business has just gone bust."
"Oh dear, that sounds terrible." Ed said. "What business were you in?"
"I sell lucky charms," said Ted.
I think my wife is getting a little nearsighted.
I woke up this morning, she was sucking on the bedpost.
Three nuns went to a cucumber stand in an open market one day.
They asked how much the cucumbers were. The merchant said that
they were 4 for a dollar. The nuns said okay.
The puzzled merchant asked why they needed four cucumbers when
there were only three of them.
A nun answered back, "Well, we could alway eat one."
What is It?
Bush has a short one. Gorbachev has a long one.
Maddona does not have one. And a priest does not
use his. What is it?
A Last name
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