Today's jokes [2.10.19]
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Father Goose Story No. 5
There was a russian man named rudolph, a high ranking member of the KGB.
one evening rudolph and his wife, helga, were walking along, and it
begins to snow. "my, my, look at the lovely snow," said helga.
"no, that is not snow, that is rain!" replied rudolph.
"no, no, no, this is snow," she said.
"look, there is a palace guard, we will ask him."
rudolph went to the palace gaurd and said "is it raining or snowing?"
the gaurd was no dummy, so he said "what do YOU think it is doing, rudolph?"
rudolph replied, "raining."
and the gaurd said "yes comrade,i was going to say raining, also!"
so rudolph and helga went walking off. the gaurd could just barely hear
the KGB official say:
"RUDOLPH, THE RED, KNOWS RAIN, DEAR"
A man was being interviewed for a job.
"Were you in the service?" ask the interviewer.
"Yes, I was a marine," responded the applicant.
"Did you see any active duty?"
"I was in Vietnam for 2 years and I have a partial disability."
"May I ask what happened?"
"Well, I had a grenade go off between my legs and I lost both
"You're hired. You can start Monday at 10 am."
"When does everyone else start? I don't want any preferential
treatment because of my disability."
"Everyone else starts at 7 am but I might as well be honest with
you. Nothing gets done between 7 and 10. We just sit
around scratching our balls trying to decide what to do first."
Q: How do you make a cat bark?
A: Soak the cat in gasoline and through a lighted match at him.
If Sony made toasters...
Their Sony Toastman, which would be barely larger than
the single piece of bread it is meant to toast, can be
conveniently attached to your belt.
If women don't fool around, and men do fool around, who
are the men fooling around with?
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