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Today's quotes [1.12.19]

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"... the movie looks it was filmed by a rhesus monkey with a video camera. The
 editing looks like it was performed by a rhesus monkey with a Cuisinart.
 Apparently, if you're a rhesus monkey, you can really go places in Hollywood."
                        -- Mr. Cranky


1. 




Men have died and worms have eaten them -- but not for love!

2. 




Modern parents believe toilet training should be an easy and
casual affair.  Just let the child s*%# all over everything.  This
prepares him or her for a brilliant career as a talk show host.

                                                        --P.J. O'Rouke

3. 




"I phoned my dad to tell him I had stopped smoking.
    He called me a quitter."        -- Steven Pearl

4. 




"I'll never get into a car that doesn't match my hat!"

                                                --Zsa Zsa Gabor 

5. 



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