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Today's jokes [1.3.19]

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What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving?

Perfect setup for skeet shooting.

1. 




   Two tigers are walking along a jungle trail in single file.
   
   The rearmost tiger wanders off the trail for a few minutes, then
   reappears shortly thereafter. A few moments later, the front tiger
   feels what seems to be the other tiger's tongue, applied just below
   his tail. The tiger disapproves of this action, but doesn't want to
   start anything by bringing it up. Then, the tiger again feels the
   tongue, again in the same place.
   
   He decides to confront the after tiger, and asks him, "Did you just
   lick me twice in the butt?"
   
   The other tiger replied, "Yeah, sorry about that. I just ate a lawyer
   and I was trying to get the taste out of my mouth."
   


2. 




A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office.  Was it
true, the woman wanted to know, that the medication the
doctor  had prescribed was for the rest of her life?
She was told that it was.
There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, 
"I'm wondering, then, just how serious my condition is.  This 
prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS.'"

3. 




What does an elephant keep up its trunk?

A Yard 'n' half o' snot!


4. 




A guy says, "I remember the first time I used alcohol as a 
substitute for women."

"Yeah what happened?" asked the other.

The first guy replies, "Well, I got my penis stuck in the neck of 
the bottle."

5. 



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