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Today's jokes [1.10.19]

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Ventriliquist cowboy walks into town and sees Indian sitting on his porch.

Cowboy: Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?

Indian: Dog no talk.

Cowboy: Hey dog, hows it going?

Dog: Doin alright.

Indian: [extreme look of shock]

Cowboy: Is this your owner? [pointing at Indian]

Dog: Yep

Cowboy: How's he treat you?

Dog: Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me
to the lake once a week to play.

Indian: [look of disbelief]

Cowboy: Mind if I talk to your horse?

Indian: Horse no talk.

Cowboy: Hey horse, how's it going?

Horse: Cool.

Indian: [extremer look of shock]

Cowboy: Is this your owner? [pointing at Indian]

Horse: Yep

Cowboy: How's he treat you?

Horse: Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me
down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements.

Indian: [total look of amazement]

Cowboy: Mind if I talk to your sheep?

Indian: Sheep Lie!!

1. 




This businessman was walking down the sidewalk when a jet black van 
stopped by him. The guys pulled the man inside, stripped him of all his 
clothes till he was butt naked, threw him back outside, and then slammed 
the door shut taking off.
Five miles later the men look outside and see the businessman running 
right beside the van. The thought "oh well". So they drove on for another 
five miles, and once again they saw the businessman running beside their
van. So this time they pulled over, opened the door, and asked the man, 
"Hey, how can you run so fast?" He replied, "You would to if your dick was 
stuck in the door.

2. 




A boy and girl octopus out on a date walked down the street arm in arm in 
arm in arm...

3. 




Bumper sticker seen in Cambridge, Mass: "Re-elect President Gore in
   2000"


4. 




What do you do if someone's having a seizure in a bathtub?

Throw in a load of laundry.

5. 



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