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Today's jokes [9.1.18]

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Experts say that although Frank Sinatra is dead, his act is still 150% more
entertaining than Frank Sinatra Jr.'s.

1. 




This is a passenger announcement. The train on platform one, two, three,
four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven and twelve has come in
sideways.

2. 




How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.

3. 




What is hard and hairy on the outside, soft and wet on the inside, begins 
with the letter 'c' ends with the letter 't' and has the letters 'u' & 'n' in 
the middle?

A coconut. 

4. 




What did the impatient helicopter say to its clumsy mechanic?

"Chop chop."

5. 



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