Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's quotes [8.8.18]

Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.


"I once bought a cellphone that had a little sticker on the box that said
 'DO NOT EAT PACKAGING MATERIAL'. There went another freebie snack at the
  office."

-- Andreas "Buzh" Skau in alt.sysadmin.recovery


1. 




"I'm getting a new desk soon!  Desk goes up.  Desk goes down.  Desk goes up.
 Desk goes down.  Desk goes up.  Desk goes down.  Desk goes up.
 Desk goes down.  Desk goes up.  Desk goes down.  Desk goes up.
 Desk goes down.  Desk goes up.  Desk goes down.  Lunch.

 Productivity is in the eyes of the beholder."

-- Lars Balker Rasmussen in alt.sysadmin.recovery


2. 




"WARNING: preposterous time in TOY clock -- CHECK AND RESET THE DATE!!"

-- Digital UNIX 4.0D


3. 




"By ten I was so wasted I had been officially downgraded to a lower rung
 on the evolutionary ladder. Some guy in a suit came up, listened to my
 attempts to string words together, revoked my rights as Homo Sapiens
 on the spot and reclassified me as some kind of plant life. I had to
 fill in all kinds of forms and shit. It was very embarrassing."

-- Michael Marshall Smith, "Spares"


4. 




"Keeping UUCP running is starting to seem a lot like keeping a 130-year-old
 man who smokes 4 packs a day on life support because he's the last person
 on Earth who knows how to do the cha-cha, but he won't tell anyone."

-- Ryan Tucker, alt.sysadmin.recovery


5. 



BONUS! A random quote from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD





By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Jokes
Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Funny Pic

 August '18 Quotes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
         1  2  3  4  
5  6  7  8  9  10 11 
12 13 14 15 16 17 18 
19 20 21 22 23 24 25 
26 27 28 29 30 31 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.