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Today's poems [7.1.18]

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There was a young man of King's Cross,
Who amused himself frigging a horse.
Then licking the spend
Which still dripped from the end,
Said, "It tastes just like anchovy sauce."



1. 




Said a lesbian lady, "It's sad; 
               Of all of the girls that I've had, 
                    None gave me the thrill 
                    Of real rapture until 
               I learned how to be a tribade." 

2. 





Twas the night before christmas and all through the house,

everybody was stoned, even a mouse.

The stockings were stuffed with pretzels and beer,

and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.

The children were wrestling quietly in bed,

with sexy visions of masterbating in their heads.

All of sudden there came such a clatter,

I jumped off my wife's back to see what was the matter.

He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, 

from the sound of the crash i knew the fat motherfucker fell.

He snapped to his feet in a sudden flash,

he forgot to cover the crack of his ass.

He showed me the bird from his stubby little hands,

then he whipped out his box of sex toys and giant rubber bands.

All were thrown on the Tree at the same time,

He jumped with the fucking clock chimed.

He flew up the chimney just as fast as he came down,

I could tell he was some kind of professional clown.

He whipped dasher, dancer, and prancer, and vixon,

He kicked comit, cupid, donder and blitzen.

He shrieked loudly into the pale midnight,

Piss on all of you, and have a hell of a night!


Sent by Rob

3. 




A sultan named Abou ben Adhem
Thus cautioned a travelling madam,
"I suffer from crabs
As do most us A-rabs,"
"It's alright," said the madam, "I've had 'em."


4. 




There was an old maid in Peru
               Who'd a dog and a cat and a gnu. 
                    From a sairlor named Harrot 
                    She bought an old parrot, 
               And he threw in a young cockatoo. 

5. 



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